I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Randomize
