I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
