I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
