I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
