i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
