I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
