i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Come on in and take your pants off
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