i would punch a child for taco bell
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
