Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
