I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
