why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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