butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
