Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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