Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
People in love make me want to vomit
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
