I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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