...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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