You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
