Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Success! We fucked roommates!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
