is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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