part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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