I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
