thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
