Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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