Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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