Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can text with my tongue
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I want her autograph on my taint
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
