Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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