What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
