i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
