i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
