i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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