Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
