Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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