Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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