it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
