I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
how drunk are you?
Several
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
