I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
