it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
