Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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