Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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