? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
