no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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