that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
