I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
