my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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