guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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