wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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