her vagine was all disorganized.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
