Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
