Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
