My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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