He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
